i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
