I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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