Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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