I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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