she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
