somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Blood and glitter go together right?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize