i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
