He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
