Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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