if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
