I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
