well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize