I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
