We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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