so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize