I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize