But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
