i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
As shirtless as possible
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize