My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
