We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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