hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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