i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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