My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
third nipple confirmed
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
