found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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