i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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