Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
