I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
