Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I didn't notice because vodka
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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