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I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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