I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
