What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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