So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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