I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
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