You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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