quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
