He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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