i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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