At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize