Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
