And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
