ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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