I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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