My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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