Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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