Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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