You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
