her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
