Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
