We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
