no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
