i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
