im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
