were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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