3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
