Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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