Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
