Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
