# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
should my penis look like a turkey
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
