Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
