How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
