And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
