Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
